Have you met Ms Dunne?

IT may have escaped your notice what with all the ranting on I do about men and everything, but I’m actually single.

Yes, shocking, I know. I mean how could a fantastic, stunning, witty and modest individual like myself still be without a fella? But I am the original Bridget Jones.

Without wanting to sound like a total lady of the night, I’ve been on hundreds of dates, been given and given out hundreds of phone numbers, dressed up, dressed down, made the first move and waited for the move to be made on me, in short everything I can think of to get a man.

I’ve had my share of baaaaad dates. In fact, I think I’ve probably had YOUR share of baaaad dates and not just dates where there’s no spark, I’m talking freak of nature dates.

Like the time I turned up to the Mercentile pub, dressed to the nines to meet a great fella I’d met the night before in a nightclub…..
…..only to discover that the guy that showed up wasn’t the guy I’d been expecting, but a random (ugly) bloke I’d snogged weeks earlier in the same club.

(Don’t ask how it happened, let’s just say it was a mix up over phone numbers and I’d been texting the wrong person!)

Or the guy who was prone to panic attacks and had a weird form of agoraphobia which meant he couldn’t leave Finglas. I kid you not.

Or how about the time I went out with a guy so very boring that after 57 minutes I was struggling to keep my eyes open and so left him in a restaurant and made good my escape? That was fun.

I sure can pick ‘em eh? I think I must have some sort of weird homing device which only goes off if I’m within range of a man with severe mental problems.

Why can’t I meet a nice, normal, funny man? You know, someone who calls when he says he will, wants to go out and do fun stuff, likes reading, is under 30?

Why Lord why?

Male friends however have advised me that the best way to get a man is to not look or hunt for him as men can smell desperation faster than they can smell a kebab and a pint, so I think that’s what I’ll do.

From now on, I’m no longer ‘on the pull’. If a man wants me, he can come get me and we can take it from there.

Sigh, I fear I’ll be waiting a very long time!

If any of you know a great guy you want to set me up with, then feel free….at the very least I’ll be able to regale him with my disaster date stories!

Photo: www.barnesandnoble.com