Christmas...Bah Humbug!

I KNOW Christmas is supposed to be the season of goodwill but I can’t help being a bit of a Scrooge about the whole thing, particularly in relation to the area of the dreaded shopping.

You know those ads on the radio, the ones advocating the delights of the city centre, where young, carefree individuals blithely jump on and off the Luas, breeze around the shops completing their purchases in record time and then meet up for a reviving cappuccino?

I really hate those ads.

The reality is that most of us can barely shuffle, let alone jump, onto the Luas due to the crowds, spend hours at bus stops in the rain waiting for one to come along or spend hours in traffic trying to get into a car park – and that’s just to get into the shops!

After that you have to battle your way through literally hordes of people to get to the items you want to purchase, beat off competition from determined grannies to actually get your paws on what you want and then stand in an hour long queue to pay.

Invariably when you get to the till the operator announces that she’s off to her lunch, or she runs out of till-roll, it’s always one or the other.

Then you have to move on to the next shop, barely getting time to cross purchases off your list, before you plunge back into the masses, where it really is survival of the fittest.

Why do I always get stuck in the street behind either an extraordinarily old woman strolling along with the help of a cane or a bunch of spotty teenage boys all trying to outdo each other with their whooping and hollering?

Move out of my way!

And as for a reviving cappuccino? Forget it! You’re more likely to end up queuing in an overheated fast-food joint for a manky hamburger and a lukewarm cup of tea-coloured water than manage to get your hands on a frothy Italian delight.

Next year I’m doing all my shopping on the Internet and I’d urge all you other frustrated shoppers out there to join me. Bah Humbug!