Life's a bastard...but sometimes it lets up

The life and times of an ordinary Dublin girl. Follow her journey as she finds out working from home really ISN'T about watching Oprah all day and that perhaps men aren't really all bastards.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The look, of love.......

Dear Jesus what have I done?

No, I haven’t murdered anyone (though if I’ve to sit through one more episode of Agatha Christie with Daddy Dunne, I will) it’s something much MUCH worse.

I’ve joined a new Irish dating website and agreed to write about it for my column.

So, not only do I have to admit to being a sad, desperate singleton in public, I also may have to meet some of these degenerates in order to gather some fodder for Said and Dunne.

This is not something I want to do, or in fact have any intention of doing, but everytime I mention the site people lean in closer, their eyes gleam and they say ‘oooh when are you going to meet one’ as if they’re special website men who should be kept in a glass box.

As if that wasn’t quite enough, it seems that even said special website men are rejecting me as the only messages I’ve had are from midgets, literally men 5ft 5 or under.

I joined about a week and a half ago and so far, I’ve had about 14 or 15 messages, at least five of which were from the site administration letting me know about various features etc.

The rest were from ‘real’ men, though certainly not Mr Right and Tall all of whom can’t seem to string two sentences together and say things like “my favourite pub is anywhere once it’s trendy”. Oh dear.

My favourite message however was from a man who was 55 and described himself as ‘good looking and in good shape’.

Intrigued I clicked on his photo (shudder, think a taxi driver merged with the manager of a greasy spoon café) and read on.

I knew I should have stopped when I got to the bit where it said that his favourite hobby was “naughty games in my secluded back garden” but like a car crash that you just can’t look away from, I kept reading to find out that his ideal woman wore “short skirts, high heels and no knickers”.


If this is the calibre of men out there, I think I’m better off being single!

Pic: computerlove3.gif


At 7:25 p.m., Blogger JL Pagano said...

If you want to meet people in cyberspace, the odds will be very good, but the goods will be very odd!!!

At 12:00 p.m., Blogger Curly K said...

Can't wait to see how you get on with this one Kaz, us 'ladies wot is single' will be waiting with baited breath to see if you have indeed found the one true way to find Mr. Right! (highly doubt it but it'll be entertaining for us - bit like watching a car crash!)

JL - very good observation!

At 2:49 p.m., Blogger Paige A Harrison said...

The things you hacks will do to get a story. Why not stick to forging prescriptions for mind altering drugs?

As ever, I admire your optimisim and your willingness to work at your craft!

At 5:48 p.m., Anonymous Rickard said...

Sorry, I've thought long and hard about but every guy's ideal woman is one that wears short skirts, high heels and no knickers, not all of the time though mind you. Therefore, I can only conclude that that guy is completely normal.

At 11:40 p.m., Blogger Red Mum said...

LOL at JL :)

I have to admit I was probably one of those people who leaned closer saying 'have you met any yet?'

Sorry bout that *note to self, be more supportive*!

My only concern with internet dating, I know this is a fating website, is that it is people looking for swinging partners, sex stuff.

And nothing wrong with that but I'd say many are married and are just looking for some down and dirty, no-strings, fun.

Am I too cynical? Maybe but I would LOVE to be proved wrong.

At 11:42 p.m., Blogger Red Mum said...


not a fating website, though it has a ring to it, looks like farting website at a glance though, anway I digress, of course I meant to say dating.

At 12:22 a.m., Blogger Curly K said...

Rickard - I do think you need to qualify that - I'm sure that you and all other 'normal' men would prefer not to see the likes of my lardy arse in a short skirt, high heels and no knickers - it'd put you off for life - I swear!

At 12:25 a.m., Blogger Curly K said...

Red Mum - agree with you in relation to 'fating' sites! Mind you those of us who use Bridget Jones-like speak 'note to self' (also guilty your honour) might do well to at least see whats on offer - who knows maybe a swingers party is what we need???

At 12:00 p.m., Blogger Cat said...

Oh God, I've been there! Three friends and I tried internet dating a couple of years ago and it was quite an experience. Let's start with the positive. One friend is now married to the beautiful girl he met on his first internet date. Now the positive's out of the way... Be aware and be realistic. I met about six men (all through the day for lunch with a friend on standby to make an emergency call to my mobile) and none of them were what I'd expected - I think I'd formed an idealised image through the emails and photos. It turns out that the photos were mostly about 10 years old, and that people can be much more eloquent via email than in person. I had one bloke who had chunks of his fingers missing (v. offputting while eating lunch!) one who was about 20 years older than he claimed and one who sweated so much I feared I might drown. I could go on, but I'll just sound even more bitter! Good luck!!!!!

At 5:43 p.m., Blogger Pure Cork Boy said...

Of course my previous comment was a little tongue in cheek (no innuendo meant there :-) but I'm sure Curly K already figured that out for herself!

What I find most interesting about this commentary is the seemingly non-stop complaints by women about men that they have dated, which is fair enough.

However, I would love to hear a perspective from the other side on this one. The lack of same leads me to believe that either you ladies are such fine examples of womanhood that these guys quickly realise that you girls are simply out of their league or that guys are simply incapable of articulating their thoughts or that guys simply get over it and move on. (Oops, that last bit was a little bitchy!)

Also, I find it interesting that we want others to look beyond our own imperfections but seldom seem willing to extend the same consideration in return. (Ah don't mind me, I'm probably feeling grumpy or something :-)

At 6:11 p.m., Blogger KnackeredKaz said...

Oooh I think Rickard has his period!

I think being an old perv who only wants to romp with young girls wearing short skirts is far from "an imperfection".

Someone who wears glasses, or is bald or a bit overweight or has a big nose could come under the term "imperfection" and you're right it IS shallow to pick on this, especially if you have similar imperfections yourself, as I do (for who IS perfect?!) but I think I was perfectly justified in berating that oul fella!

I extend due consideration to everyone I meet, but if they're blatantly an idiot, I say it. And trust me, I've had it said to me in return. Maybe fellas just don't blog about it!

So there, that's you put in your place! (Ha! Joke!)

At 11:03 a.m., Blogger Cat said...

I've dated many men who have so-called imperfections - in fact, I'd be very wary of being with someone who was "perfect", if such a thing even exists. The difference, however, with meeting potential partners online is the opportunity for people to conceal things and pretend to be something they're not. For example, one chap I met had clearly used a picture which was about 10 years out of date (he turned up and was completely bald and had gained about six stone) while another told me when we met that he was involved in pretty major credit card fraud scams. Forgive me if I'm shallow, but if either of these guys had been honest about these things, I wouldn't have agreed to meet with them in the first place. I'm sure there were men I met who saw me and thought I was no use for them too, and certainly there was one who didn't email me again when I sent him a picture. That was upsetting! But I cabn say hand on heart that I was completely honest at all times and naively expected the blokes to be the same.

At 4:11 p.m., Blogger KnackeredKaz said...

Well said Cat Girl! I too have been honest and the oldest picture I have up on the site is two months old, so I feel like I'm opening myself up and being upfront.

Men is seems are just sneakier and out for what they can get!

(Miaow, I'm a bi-atch today!)

At 1:47 p.m., Blogger Cat said...

After commenting here yesterday I remembered two other special men I had dealings with and feel bound to share those too. The first claimed he worked in "sales and marketing" which sounded good to me as a PR/marketing chick myself. Turns out he worked at the till in his local Co-op shop. The second said he "ran his own freight business". You've guessed it - he was a taxi driver with his own minicab.

At 10:49 a.m., Blogger Pure Cork Boy said...

OMFG, I'm getting my ass kicked here! Ladies, when I wrote of imperfections I meant small ones and not big ones. Also, I'm picking up loud and clear that "honesty" seems to be the preferred policy from the female perspective. Therefore, in the spirit of things, I'd like to come clean and say upfront that I'm not really a Jedi Knight. Phew! I feel so relieved having gotten that off my chest.

At 1:42 p.m., Blogger Omaniblog said...

I know several people who have "met" their partner (or spouse) via a website. Obviously I'm not at liberty to reveal their names but as far as I know they are as content as any other partners I know.
How would I know if a woman was telling me the truth about herself? How would I know if the photo was up to date? Why would I trust anything a stranger said about themselves over the internet. I don't even believe JL P is really JL P.
I wouldn't dare put a photo of myself up on my blog - that might drive even more people away.
But what an interesting project! Is it all work, or will there be play too?
Why would you believe someone if they told you they were involved in credit card fraud: they were obviously an undercover policeman.
I was surprised you had such an aversion to disabilities.
More please, whatever your name is...

At 9:28 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

First of all a woman should have an attractive, warm personality, humor and diligence. If she, morover, wears very short skirts, we are lucky guys.


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