Life's a bastard...but sometimes it lets up

The life and times of an ordinary Dublin girl. Follow her journey as she finds out working from home really ISN'T about watching Oprah all day and that perhaps men aren't really all bastards.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Have you met Ms Dunne?

IT may have escaped your notice what with all the ranting on I do about men and everything, but I’m actually single.

Yes, shocking, I know. I mean how could a fantastic, stunning, witty and modest individual like myself still be without a fella? But I am the original Bridget Jones.

Without wanting to sound like a total lady of the night, I’ve been on hundreds of dates, been given and given out hundreds of phone numbers, dressed up, dressed down, made the first move and waited for the move to be made on me, in short everything I can think of to get a man.

I’ve had my share of baaaaad dates. In fact, I think I’ve probably had YOUR share of baaaad dates and not just dates where there’s no spark, I’m talking freak of nature dates.

Like the time I turned up to the Mercentile pub, dressed to the nines to meet a great fella I’d met the night before in a nightclub…..
…..only to discover that the guy that showed up wasn’t the guy I’d been expecting, but a random (ugly) bloke I’d snogged weeks earlier in the same club.

(Don’t ask how it happened, let’s just say it was a mix up over phone numbers and I’d been texting the wrong person!)

Or the guy who was prone to panic attacks and had a weird form of agoraphobia which meant he couldn’t leave Finglas. I kid you not.

Or how about the time I went out with a guy so very boring that after 57 minutes I was struggling to keep my eyes open and so left him in a restaurant and made good my escape? That was fun.

I sure can pick ‘em eh? I think I must have some sort of weird homing device which only goes off if I’m within range of a man with severe mental problems.

Why can’t I meet a nice, normal, funny man? You know, someone who calls when he says he will, wants to go out and do fun stuff, likes reading, is under 30?

Why Lord why?

Male friends however have advised me that the best way to get a man is to not look or hunt for him as men can smell desperation faster than they can smell a kebab and a pint, so I think that’s what I’ll do.

From now on, I’m no longer ‘on the pull’. If a man wants me, he can come get me and we can take it from there.

Sigh, I fear I’ll be waiting a very long time!

If any of you know a great guy you want to set me up with, then feel free….at the very least I’ll be able to regale him with my disaster date stories!


Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I think I better leave right now..

THE funny folk at Today FM came up with a classic for today's Gift Grub sketch which featured Roy Keane leaving Manchester United for the last time.

It's sung to the tune of Will Young's I Think I Better Leave Right Now and it's just hilarious so I thought I'd share the lyrics with you. (Yes, I am a TOTAL nerd who listened to the song over and over and scribbled down the words, so sue me!) Er, so they mightn't be exactly correct (or make sense) but you'll get the gist!

The song itself can be accessed at and follow the links for the Ian Dempsey Breakfast Show and then Gift Grub. Earlier today that part of the site wasn't working, I think because of so many hits but you might be lucky.

Apologies for lack of posts in last few days, have just been mad busy. But I'll try harder in the future. Meanwhile, here are the lyrics, enjoy!

I Think I Better Leave Right Now, by Roy Keane

I've gone,
When did I arrive?
Cos all they've left me with is me bloody P45

No more mid-field General
No holding role
But at least I'll be the richest man down the dole

And for me who'll they replace?
A lad with a bit of pace
But will he ever make the face?

So I say..

I think I better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now
Our players are getting cheaper and cheaper
Somebody's gotta tell me how
That Alan Smith's a midfielder
I think I better leave right now

They say don't worry
Sure we'll be grand
Sure we've got Wes Brown and Rio Ferdinand
I told the Gaffer
You're having a laugh
If you think that tool is a decent centre half
Because he's just no bloody use
Always has an excuse
I never heard that from Steve Bruce

So I say..

I think I better leave right now
Leave all the prawns and the blazers
I think I better leave right now
Before it dawns on the glazers
Can't you just see it now
Here come the knives and the razors
I think I better leave right now

All credit to the time it's flown
Remember how I beat Juventus on me own
The greatest midfielder of his era
Are you listening Patrick Vierra
But I'll keep going, you'll see
Even with me dodgy knee
Oh how the mighty have fallen, it's pathetic
I might end up in Wiggan Athletic

I think I better leave right now
Leave all the prawns and the blazers
I think I better leave right now
Before it dawns on the glazers
Can't you just see it now
Here come the knives and the razors
I think I better leave right now

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