I'm off the wagon

I’VE just eaten a huge turkey and coleslaw roll. And a packet of crisps and now I can barely type this as I’m shoving a double chocolate doughnut into my gaping gob.

In case you’re a bit slow on the uptake, I’ve officially fallen off the WeightWatchers wagon.

Last night’s weigh in showed I’d put ON 1.5lb which is not surprising given the amount of food I’ve eaten in the last week. I honestly think world hunger could be obliterated if they wired my jaw shut and distributed my food around the world. In fact I might just suggest it to Concern.

The thing is you see, I DO want to be slimmer..I er, just don’t want to give up eating the food I like. And yes, I’ve SEEN Supersize me, I KNOW what trans fats do to the human body, I REALISE I’m rotting myself from the inside out, but that doesn’t seem to stop me!
I’m like Mrs Doyle, I just seem to ‘go on go on go on go on go on’ and on eating. And eating. And drinking. And eating.

I think I might have a problem. However, yet again, I’m making a promise to myself and to you, my readers, that I will try harder, I will go back on the wagon, I will lose weight.

I can almost hear the celestial trumpets, feel the heat of the shining sun over my head, sense my heart lifting with purpose as I proclaim….I’LL START TOMORROW!

Pic from www.wordpower.ws

You blew it again guys!

BEFORE you read this post, you should be warned that I AM going to generalise and basically rant about men, again. So if you’re of a sensitive nature or are all loved up and don’t want to listen, then look away.........now!

I’ve been reading this book called He’s Just Not That Into You, about men and relationships which tries to break the male psyche down into its simplest form (not hard eh, fnarr fnarr).

Basically it says if you meet a guy and he doesn’t call..then he’s just not that into you. If you’re dating a guy and he doesn’t want to move things on or introduce you to friends, then he’s just not that into you.

The book explains that if you meet any of these men, you should just move on and not waste your energy worrying about them, that the perfect man IS out there for you and that men aren’t really pigs...they’re, yes you’ve gussed it, just not that into you.

Are you seeing a pattern emerging here?

It was kinda liberating to read and I really identified with it and the examples given in the book (such as the girl who’s fella kept breaking up with her and trying to get back together and she took him back - yes I was that pilgrim).

A lightbulb went off in my head. "Kaz, they’re just not that into you" sez I to myself. It’s nothing personal, nothing worth wasting time and tears over, they’re just not that into you.

I was starting to see men in a new light. A fuzzy, pink, warm light where they weren’t lecherous pigs intent on destroying my heart, but just poor misguided souls.

Until this morning.

This morning I was standing at the bus stop beside a very young student (no more than 18, if that) who was wearing a short skirt, thick wooly tights and winter boots.

She nearly caused a pile up as every man, literally every single one, who passed her in their cars slowed down to rubberneck at her.

Grown men, some close to 60 years of age, drooling over a teenager barely out of school and very probably the same age as their daughters at home. I nearly brought up my breakfast.

At this point you probably think I’m exaggerating, but I kid you not, in the few minutes before her bus arrived, at least 150 cars slowed down to leer at her, most very obviously.

You may also think that I’m jealous because they were looking at her and not me, but nothing could be further than the truth. That kind of ‘appreciation’ I can do without, thanks.

The poor girl was nearly in tears by the time her bus arrived at this unwanted attention and miserably pulled at her skirt and tried to pull down her jacket to cover her legs. She didn’t deserve that.

Everyone has the right to wear whatever they please and this girl was very probably just wearing the same clothes as her friends and peers, she didn’t appear to me to be making a statement or dressing to shock.

Well she didn't give me that impression when she hurried onto her bus weeping and trying to cover herself anyway.

I wonder if any of those men who got a cheap thrill this morning will think about how they upset that girl and how they would feel if THEIR daughter or sister came home with a similar story? Probably not.

Again, I’m aware that I’m generalising and that a lot of men wouldn’t leer at a young girl like that, but I didn’t notice any man looking away this morning.

It seems to me that as soon as something restores my faith in the opposite sex, all it takes is a short skirt to blow it out of the water. Sigh!

Pic www.barnesandnoble.com