Save me Simmons!

I NEED help. I need motivation. I need will power. In short I need Richard Simmons.

The pint sized afro-haired fitness guru is my only hope now following last night's WeightWatchers debacle where it emerged I had put ON a whole pound.

GOAL has now officially declared my hips a disaster area.

I know I had written in my earlier post that I was expecting to have put on weight, but to actually see it on the scales in black and, er, silvery grey, was another thing entirely.

The lovely leader lady gave me a leaflet about comfort eating when I explained that I had been craving bread and salty snacks, which I was delighted with thinking it'd be full of tips about how to eat snacks yet not put on any weight.

But it was not to be. It turned out to be a motivational leaflet about saying no to savory snacks and asking yourself do you reeaaalllllyyyy want a packet of crisps (what a stupid question, of COURSE I want a packet of crisps!)

However, I have resolved to do better for next week. I AM determined to lose weight, it's just not as easy as I'd thought.

So I'm turning to Richard Simmons (and Chaka Khan..I'm every woommaaannn) for inspiration and will be repeating positive affirmations to myself every day (I want to lose weight, I WILL lose weight!) I'll keep you posted!

For those of you who don't know who Richard Simmons is check out www.richardsimmons.com where I got this pic!

Generous colleagues, oh how I hate them!

A COLLEAUGE has been on holidays. She’s a lovely, lovely woman and being the epitome of generosity she came back to the office laden down with biscuits, huge slabs of chocolate and a box of the most delectable chocolate truffles I’ve ever seen.

Ok, ok – a box of the most delectable chocolate truffles I’ve ever TASTED. As I type this I’m eating three. Not counting the two I sneakily wolfed down in the office kitchen while nobody was looking.

I’m sure most of you are thinking so what, five chocolates is nothing but it’s WeightWatchers tonight and according to our bathroom scales at home, I’ve put on 1.5lb from last week so I can ill afford to be huffing into a box of chocolates.

I know I’m only supposed to weigh myself at the weekly meetings using the proper electronic super-dooper scales and that our ancient bathroom jalopy scales might not be as accurate as it was when it was purchased for a shilling in 1926, but still! I’m disgusted with myself!

I’m disgusted, but not surprised. It has NOT been a good week WW-wise in the Dunne household, featuring such moments as the Night of the Smoked Cod and Chips and the Afternoon of the Nervous Breakdown in Thorntons which resulted in fevered buying, and then demolishing, of chocolate.

Not to mention the Incident in Liffey Valley where I took the escalator stairs three at a time up to It’s a Bagel to order my favourite cream cheese and hot bacon concoction (with a coke), which is about 800 points. And now the Colleague Bought Chocolates So I Must Eat Them moment.

I may look innocent, but I’m not to be trusted, especially where food is concerned.

I’m finding it harder and harder to stay within my points, especially now that I’m back working in the office a bit (again, long story re: my work situation, I’ll explain it sometime) as I DO work pretty hard and am usually starving at lunch time and again at dinner. I know it’s no excuse and plenty of people also work hard but eat properly and don’t put on weight…but I’m just not one of those people!

In saying that though, I think I AM eating healthier than I was before which has to be a good thing. For example I now eat three pieces of fruit and one salad portion a day as well as drinking freshly squeezed orange juice every morning, whereas before my consumption of fruit and salad was literally zero. So at least I’m getting some nutrition even if I do occasionally freak out in the local shopping centre!

So once again readers I’m asking that you keep your fingers crossed for me for my weigh-in tonight. I’ll let you know how I get on. Now, I wonder if I could get away with going in wearing just my bra and knickers…..?

Pic: www.chocolatevault.com

You wait all day and then three come along at once......

LAST week I had a precious afternoon off work after working late the previous night and was full of the joys of, er, winter thinking about how I was going to spend my few hours off. [I know my profile says I’m working from home and I am, it’s just sometimes I have to go into my office too, it’s a long story!]

The hairdressers perhaps, or maybe browsing around the shops. Maybe a trip to the supermarket to pick up some fresh goodies to cook myself a nice meal for once. Oooh, I could even go meet a friend and have an illicit afternoon in the pub! The possibilities were endless!

Standing in a phone box at a bus stop sheltering from the pouring rain waiting for more than three hours on a bus was not something I had in mind. Yet this is exactly what I ended up doing.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, yet again Dublin Bus let me down and left me stranded miles from home with no alternative source of transport (unless you count a 15 minute walk through the rain to the Luas stop and then a 45 minute walk at the other end that is.) I was not a happy camper. (I realise now I would have been quicker going the Luas route, but hindsight is 20/20.)

I was cold, I was wet, I was increasingly angry and I was slightly disturbed by the old man at the bus stop who kept trying to get into the phone box with me.

When I eventually got home (after being reliably informed by the bus driver who DID show up that the previous six scheduled buses had ‘gone missing’) it was all Mammy Dunne and her home made steak pie could do to calm me down. I was raging!

The next day I indignantly rang Dublin Bus to complain expecting profuse apologies and promises of free bus tickets only to be met with the most relaxed, jovial complaints officer I have ever come across.

“Yeah, we have had some complaints about that route alright, it’s a bummer isn’t it?” sez he.

“Jaysis, three hours IS a long time to be waiting alright. I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you the number of the depot and if your bus doesn’t show up you can ring them and ask if the bus is going or not and if not you can make other arrangements. Tell them I sent you.”

Quite.

So the response from the state transport body when you complain is to check if the bus is going to show up and if not make “other arrangements”? Well that’s just great! That’s what I pay a huge amount of tax for that seems to go into a black hole, to make “other arrangements”.

I think Eddie Hobbs is right and this really is a Rip Off Republic. I’m thinking of organising a bus boycott. Watch this space!

Photo from www.dublinbus.ie

Welcome to the world!

A VERY important person came into the world today and I wanted to introduce you to her. My eldest sister had a baby girl at 5.25pm this evening who weighed in at 7lb 11oz. She's the sweetest thing you've ever seen and she's already so well behaved it's frightening!

It's not my place to post photographs of her face or reveal any more information about her on here, but here's a photo of her teeny tiny hand waving hello to her favourite auntie (me!) just three hours after she was born.

That's it, just wanted to show her off! (I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or what, but....I really want a baby of my own! I actually really do!) And I'm now praying that no guy I've ever gone out with/may go out with in the future ever reads this cos they'll run a mile!